Red State Blues

Soon after the Iraq Invasion began, I added an 8” x 12” piece of plywood to the back of my bicycle, to serve as a bumper. I then proceeded to post bumper stickers with regularity. Most were in the STOP BUSH vein.

On occasion, I have to go out of town for work and when I do so, I rent a car from this place not far from where I live and work. Four of the times when I've rented a car, I left my bicycle chained to the inside of the rental company's fence.

Each time that I've done so, some Patriotic 'Merican has felt it his civic duty to unceremoniously rip off my STOP BUSH! bumper sticker and, each time, I've replaced it with another.

I had to rent a car again two days ago and this time, after parking my bicycle inside the fence as normal and getting in the rental car and taking off, I stealthily returned with my camera and began a stake-out, so I could capture the red-stater red-handed, thinking I could blackmail him into making a sizable donation to the Democratic Party, Sierra Club or some similar penance.

But alas, after an exhaustive 45 minute stakeout, I had better things to do and sadly had to give up the hunt.

Still, I wish I could have been there when he returned (as he did) and ripped off the bumper sticker (as he did) only to find that I had painted STOP BUSH directly on my plywood bumper and all his ripping was in vain. I noticed, too that he had found my note taped between the bumper sticker and the painted message.

SHAME ON YOU! Now go, and sin no more.

-God

You reckon he will?