Monday, July 16, 2012

Down by the Fishing Hole

1996 Jordan Dan Fishing by paynehollow
1996 Jordan Dan Fishing, a photo by paynehollow on Flickr.
I have always been a fan of Andy Griffith and it was with great sadness that I heard of his parting off this mortal coil. Of course, I treasure The Andy Griffith Show as a classic bit of televised literature that has never grown stale or out of style.

Interestingly (and sadly) as I was looking up quotes from the TV show, I saw a bit of news about Mr Griffith - that in 2010, he filmed a commercial in support of Obama's health care proposal and eventually, the ads were pulled because Mr Griffith had received "hundreds of death threats..." Pathetic.

Also, while looking for quotes, I came across this funny video from the 2008 election, wherein little Opie Taylor talks with his dad, Andy, about choosing the right candidate.

Anyway, here are a few "Andy Griffith Show" quotes that I found... Enjoy.

Barney Fife: The last big buy was my mom's and dad's anniversary present.
Andy Taylor: What'd ya get 'em?
Barney Fife: A septic tank.
Andy Taylor: For their anniversary?
Barney Fife: They're awful hard to buy for. Besides, it was something they could use. They were really thrilled. It had two tons of concrete in it. All steel reinforced.
Andy Taylor: You're a fine son, Barn.
Barney Fife: I try.

Floyd Lawson: You know, everyone complains about the weather but nobody does anything about it. Calvin Coolidge said that.
Andy Taylor: No, Floyd, that wasn't Calvin Coolidge that said that, it was Mark Twain.
Floyd Lawson: Then what did Calvin Coolidge say?

Aunt Bee Taylor: Did you like the white beans you had for supper?
Andy Taylor: Uh huh.
Aunt Bee Taylor: Well, you didn't say anything.
Andy Taylor: Well, I ate four bowls. If that ain't a tribute to white beans, I don't know what is.
Aunt Bee Taylor: Well...
Andy Taylor: Eating speaks louder than words.
Aunt Bee Taylor: You know, your education was worth every penny of it.

Andy Taylor: When a man carries a gun all the time, the respect he thinks he's getting might really be fear. So I don't carry a gun because I don't want the people of Mayberry to fear a gun. I'd rather they respect me.

Barney Fife: All I'm saying is that there are some things beyond the ken of mortal man that shouldn't be tampered with. We don't know everything, Andy. There's plenty going on right now in the Twilight Zone that we don't know anything about and I think we ought to stay clear.

Andy Taylor: Opie! Time to come in, son.
Opie Taylor: Aw Pa, just a little while longer... please?
Andy Taylor: Well, OK.
[to Barney]
Andy Taylor: Daylight's precious when your a youngen'.

Floyd Lawson: [while looking at himself in the mirror] Wretch, wretch! Deceitful wretch!

Barney Fife: A boob that's what I am, a boob!

Andy Taylor: [telling Opie and his friends the story of Paul Revere] And he said, "The British is comin, the British is comin! Git your guns, we gonna have us a revolution!"

[Andy has told Rafe Hollister to try out for the musical]
Barney Fife: I'm surprised at you, Andy. They want people who have had musical training. Why, suppose they ask Rafe to do something he don't know? Rafe, if they asked you to sing a cappella, could you do it?
Rafe Hollister: No.
Andy Taylor: Hey, Barn, what if they was to ask you if you could sing a cappella, what would *you* do?
Barney Fife: Why, I'd do it!
[snapping fingers in rhythm]
Barney Fife: "A cappella, a cappella"... Well, I don't remember all the words.

Andy Taylor: [Briscoe is getting dressed for Charlene's wedding] Hold still, Mr. Darling, while I put on your tie.
Briscoe Darling: Ever since I saw a hangin', I been nervous about wearin' one of these things.

...and finally, some of my favorite lines from the show: The songs the Darlings DIDN'T sing...

Briscoe Darling: How 'bout "Don't Hit Your Grandma with a Great Big Stick"?
Charlene Darling: No, Paw, That one makes me cry!

Briscoe Darling: How 'bout "I Hurt You, I Hurt You, Dirty, Dirty Me"?
Charlene Darling: No, Paw, That one makes me cry!

That's it - I can only find the two "Makes me cry" quotes, but I know there are a bunch more. Anyone else remember any of those?

Rest in Peace, Mr Griffith.

1 comment:

John Farrier said...

If I didn't have a good example of my own, I'd want to be the sort of father that Andy Taylor was to Opie.