This is one of my favorite photos of my beloved wife. Here's how I imagined this conversation went....
"Santa": Shuddup kids and lissen. This is how it's gonna work:
Yer not going to ask me for no presents, see? Yer just gonna sit there and smile and pretend I'm saying nice things.
My elf out there is gonna take our picture. Yer not gonna cry. If you do, there'll be hell to pay. And don't even THINK about wetting yer widdle pants while yer sitting on MY lap.
Just smile and act like everything's all right, then get off my lap and get outta here and you'll get to see your parents again.
Ya got that, ya snot-nosed brats?