Undeserved Fidelity

Riley Sarah Sara hiking at Laurel Falls
Originally uploaded by paynehollow

We were speaking of fidelity at church this last week, and had many wonderful testimonies from the congregation on the topic. I added the following bit of confession, apology, gratitude for all those who have graciously been faithful to me, perhaps when it wasn't even deserved.

I was thinking specifically of all my gay, lesbian and transgendered brothers and sisters towards whom I am sure I have been awful towards in days past. Thank God for grace when it does show up...

For my sake, he walked with me.

We walked together for miles and years,
He walked with me on sunny days and gray

We took breath-taking hikes together
enjoying one another's company
and the soft jubilation of creation

He walked beside me, holding my hand, being my friend.

And he walked with me still, even as I belittled him and mocked his life
When I said, in not so many words, that I despise him and everyone like him
When I said, indirectly and with a laugh, that he disgusted me
When I spat upon his humanity, he never once flinched
When I used love like a hammer and god like a hatchet,

Still, he walked with me

I guess faith really is the substance of things hoped for
The evidence of things not seen.

Because, even at my coldest, at my cruelest, at my worst, he walked with me

for my sake.