Sometimes our life reminds me
of a forest in which there is a graceful clearing
and in that opening a house,
an orchard and garden,
comfortable shades, and flowers
red and yellow in the sun, a pattern
made in the light for the light to return to.
The forest is mostly dark, its ways
to be made anew day after day, the dark
richer than the light and more blessed,
provided we stay brave
enough to keep on going in.
Excerpt from The Country of Marriage, by Wendell Berry
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Donna and Dan
Madonna of the Evening Flowers
Amy Lowell
All day long I have been working
Now I am tired.
I call: "Where are you?"
But there is only the oak tree rustling in the wind.
The house is very quiet,
The sun shines in on your books,
On your scissors and thimble just put down,
But you are not there.
Suddenly I am lonely:
Where are you?
I go about searching.
Then I see you,
Standing under a spire of pale blue larkspur,
With a basket of roses on your arm.
You are cool, like silver,
And you smile...
Amy Lowell
All day long I have been working
Now I am tired.
I call: "Where are you?"
But there is only the oak tree rustling in the wind.
The house is very quiet,
The sun shines in on your books,
On your scissors and thimble just put down,
But you are not there.
Suddenly I am lonely:
Where are you?
I go about searching.
Then I see you,
Standing under a spire of pale blue larkspur,
With a basket of roses on your arm.
You are cool, like silver,
And you smile...
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
A Modest Proposal - Embrace Responsibiliity
While I'm still enjoying a month of reflecting upon and rejoicing about my 25th anniversary with my sweet wife, I am going to interrupt the pleasantries once more just to voice outrage once again about this Gulf oil disaster and to propose a solution.
Of course, every reasonable person knows there will be no "fixing" this, there IS no solution to resolve this problem other than probably hundreds of years of the earth healing itself. Still, that does not stop us from trying to find ways of lessening the damage - environmentally and economically. The problem is, that's going to cost. A LOT. More than BP can or will pay.
And so, my modest proposal:
IF you ever gleefully said, "Drill, Baby, Drill," OR
IF you ever voted for someone who gleefully said, "Drill, Baby, Drill,"
[and thus advocated irresponsible offshore drilling]
THEN, it is time to step up and take personal and societal responsibility. IF you truly believed off-shore drilling was the answer and, as it turns out, you were wrong precisely because of disasters like this (and this isn't the first and won't be the last, if we continue), then I will expect you to take some personal responsibility.
Of course, there is no price able to fix this problem, but let's just say, $100 billion* for starters - to deal with the environmental degradation and the economic impact for millions of innocent bystanders. As it turns out, nearly 60 million of you voted for "drill, baby, drill" this last presidential election and so, if each of you would kindly send the Gulf Cleanup Fund a check for $1,600, that would be a starting step in taking responsibility for your actions.
Of course, there may be others who also advocated "drill, baby, drill" who DIDN'T vote for McPalin this last election. I'll expect you to take responsibility, too, and write your check.
If you don't have $16,000 ready today, by all means, go ahead and write a check for the first $8,000 and go ahead and begin selling your houses and cars or whatever is necessary to take responsibility for your position.
Ms Palin, since you were SUCH a big advocate of this, feel free to forward ALL your receipts from your book sells to the fund. You, too, Limbaugh, Savage, Beck, etc.
Thank you very much.
======
Of course, I'm just venting a bit on the obvious targets perhaps most responsible for this disaster. However, in truth, we are nearly ALL part of the problem to some degree. We ALL like our gas cheap and our cars plentiful. I know I certainly bear some guilt in this disaster by my choices.
I will probably be looking at this more deeply when I'm past my month of Anniversary celebration.
In the meantime, Lord, have mercy on us all.
* Back on May 3, BP was estimating it would spend $12 billion on clean up, but I suspect that figure is 1. Way too low and 2. Does not factor in all the costs (lost income for all those who depend upon tourism for a living, lost income who feed those tourists, who supply the hotels/motels/condos/cabins, etc, lost income for those who fish for a living, the societal costs to those who will lose their homes due to lost income, etc, etc. This disaster will, sadly, have an on-going and impossible to pay cost.
Also, as noted here, the costs of "clean up" will likely be dwarfed by the cost to the Gulf region in terms of jobs and tax dollars.
The costs related to the spill will far surpass the clean up costs. The impacted coastline produces tens of billions in state revenues from tourism, the Washington Post reports.
Final costs remain to be seen. I'd like one relatively pristine Gulf ecosystem, please. What is that price?
Of course, every reasonable person knows there will be no "fixing" this, there IS no solution to resolve this problem other than probably hundreds of years of the earth healing itself. Still, that does not stop us from trying to find ways of lessening the damage - environmentally and economically. The problem is, that's going to cost. A LOT. More than BP can or will pay.
And so, my modest proposal:
IF you ever gleefully said, "Drill, Baby, Drill," OR
IF you ever voted for someone who gleefully said, "Drill, Baby, Drill,"
[and thus advocated irresponsible offshore drilling]
THEN, it is time to step up and take personal and societal responsibility. IF you truly believed off-shore drilling was the answer and, as it turns out, you were wrong precisely because of disasters like this (and this isn't the first and won't be the last, if we continue), then I will expect you to take some personal responsibility.
Of course, there is no price able to fix this problem, but let's just say, $100 billion* for starters - to deal with the environmental degradation and the economic impact for millions of innocent bystanders. As it turns out, nearly 60 million of you voted for "drill, baby, drill" this last presidential election and so, if each of you would kindly send the Gulf Cleanup Fund a check for $1,600, that would be a starting step in taking responsibility for your actions.
Of course, there may be others who also advocated "drill, baby, drill" who DIDN'T vote for McPalin this last election. I'll expect you to take responsibility, too, and write your check.
If you don't have $16,000 ready today, by all means, go ahead and write a check for the first $8,000 and go ahead and begin selling your houses and cars or whatever is necessary to take responsibility for your position.
Ms Palin, since you were SUCH a big advocate of this, feel free to forward ALL your receipts from your book sells to the fund. You, too, Limbaugh, Savage, Beck, etc.
Thank you very much.
======
Of course, I'm just venting a bit on the obvious targets perhaps most responsible for this disaster. However, in truth, we are nearly ALL part of the problem to some degree. We ALL like our gas cheap and our cars plentiful. I know I certainly bear some guilt in this disaster by my choices.
I will probably be looking at this more deeply when I'm past my month of Anniversary celebration.
In the meantime, Lord, have mercy on us all.
* Back on May 3, BP was estimating it would spend $12 billion on clean up, but I suspect that figure is 1. Way too low and 2. Does not factor in all the costs (lost income for all those who depend upon tourism for a living, lost income who feed those tourists, who supply the hotels/motels/condos/cabins, etc, lost income for those who fish for a living, the societal costs to those who will lose their homes due to lost income, etc, etc. This disaster will, sadly, have an on-going and impossible to pay cost.
Also, as noted here, the costs of "clean up" will likely be dwarfed by the cost to the Gulf region in terms of jobs and tax dollars.
The costs related to the spill will far surpass the clean up costs. The impacted coastline produces tens of billions in state revenues from tourism, the Washington Post reports.
Final costs remain to be seen. I'd like one relatively pristine Gulf ecosystem, please. What is that price?
Donna and Dan
A wife is the joy of a man's heart.
~ Talmud
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
~Winston Churchill
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him...
~ Oscar Wilde
~ Talmud
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
~Winston Churchill
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him...
~ Oscar Wilde
Monday, May 24, 2010
Donna and Dan -2
One week left. Next week is our 25th anniversary.
For the past 24-ish weeks, I've been posting a poem, a memory, a story - and lots of photos - from our history together. Sometimes, you just do some things for yourself, but thanks for any who've been following our story with us...
Over and Over Again
You sometimes ask me
Would I do it all over again?
Would I really want to live our life over again?
Just as it's been
With heads worn raw from hanging drywall ceilings on our own
And stepping through the bathroom floor
Into the damp cellar below...
Would I want to be pulled over by the cops again
For driving while playing a dulcimer?
Would I want to hike in the rain with a
Cold sad child
Clinging and shivering?
Or camp in a storm
Getting stuck in the mud
Bone-tired and chilled?
Would I really want to
learn all that music together again?
Mandolin and banjo
Guitar and dulcimer
Singing harmonies with you all over again?
If I had the choice
Would I choose to hear the music again
in cheap concert halls
And cry at the sound of a raw homeless voice
moaning and mumbling?
Would I trade a thousand dirty diapers
Shared with you
And vacations with beautiful screaming children -
Sometimes not even our own?
Would I give up Christmases with your
Strong confident mother and sweet, sweet father
Hearing stories of softball games and
tap dances on the porch and bucking mules
and fences built with love for his daughter
So she could have an unridden horse?
Would I give up ten thousand kisses
Soft and perfect
Would I give up one million stars
And dozens of full moons
Would I give up all the sand on the beaches
Rolling under the surf
And walks through the forest
And secret bird symphonies
And the curve of the small of your back
And a thousand sunsets warm on my face
And the way you fit perfectly into my arms?
If I had the chance, you ask,
would I do it all over again?
And I honestly don't know
What else I could possibly do differently
That could make my life any more perfect
Than it is today.
Of course, I would.
Over and over again.
For the past 24-ish weeks, I've been posting a poem, a memory, a story - and lots of photos - from our history together. Sometimes, you just do some things for yourself, but thanks for any who've been following our story with us...
Over and Over Again
You sometimes ask me
Would I do it all over again?
Would I really want to live our life over again?
Just as it's been
With heads worn raw from hanging drywall ceilings on our own
And stepping through the bathroom floor
Into the damp cellar below...
Would I want to be pulled over by the cops again
For driving while playing a dulcimer?
Would I want to hike in the rain with a
Cold sad child
Clinging and shivering?
Or camp in a storm
Getting stuck in the mud
Bone-tired and chilled?
Would I really want to
learn all that music together again?
Mandolin and banjo
Guitar and dulcimer
Singing harmonies with you all over again?
If I had the choice
Would I choose to hear the music again
in cheap concert halls
And cry at the sound of a raw homeless voice
moaning and mumbling?
Would I trade a thousand dirty diapers
Shared with you
And vacations with beautiful screaming children -
Sometimes not even our own?
Would I give up Christmases with your
Strong confident mother and sweet, sweet father
Hearing stories of softball games and
tap dances on the porch and bucking mules
and fences built with love for his daughter
So she could have an unridden horse?
Would I give up ten thousand kisses
Soft and perfect
Would I give up one million stars
And dozens of full moons
Would I give up all the sand on the beaches
Rolling under the surf
And walks through the forest
And secret bird symphonies
And the curve of the small of your back
And a thousand sunsets warm on my face
And the way you fit perfectly into my arms?
If I had the chance, you ask,
would I do it all over again?
And I honestly don't know
What else I could possibly do differently
That could make my life any more perfect
Than it is today.
Of course, I would.
Over and over again.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
1996 First Family Portrait
Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
~Bill Cosby
If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle.
~Vincent van Gogh
Father asked us what was God's noblest work. Anna said men, but I said babies. Men are often bad, but babies never are.
~Louisa May Alcott
~Bill Cosby
If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle.
~Vincent van Gogh
Father asked us what was God's noblest work. Anna said men, but I said babies. Men are often bad, but babies never are.
~Louisa May Alcott
Saturday, May 22, 2010
1994-ish Snazzy Jordan
Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.
~Plato
Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.
~James Thurber
There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life that he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.
~Mark Twain
~Plato
Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.
~James Thurber
There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life that he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.
~Mark Twain
Friday, May 21, 2010
Bike to Work Day!
Right at ten years ago (maybe 10 1/2), our family became a one car family and I began biking most places I go by myself. A couple of years ago, I mostly gave up the biking and started walking most places I go solo.
For our family, this has been a money saver, to be sure (the average two car family in the US spends something like $3,000-6,000/year for that extra car). It also has been a way to be a bit healthier (I lost at least twenty pounds that first year and, while I haven't lost any further, I haven't gained any back, either) and a great deal of fun.
I've started walking not because I had any problems with biking, but because - as much as I enjoy biking, I enjoy walking even more.
Today in Louisville it's our annual Bike to Work Day celebration and, in honor of that, I thought I'd re-post one of my favorite blog entries. As a matter of laziness, I've not included the links, but you can read the story WITH links here...
On the actual Cost of Cars...
Owning a car cost (on average) $7,823 per a year in 2007 according to AAA. That's figuring in gas, repairs, insurance, car costs, etc.
This is up from $6,890/year on average (according to this article back in 2004). Wow. Costs are rising quickly.
Here's a website that calculates your personal expenses - telling you how much you're paying a month for the privilege of owning a car and how much you'd be saving if you didn't have a car:
bikesatwork.com
(This site includes the little factoid that, if I did NOT own a car and invested that savings instead - beginning at the age of 25 - that I could have saved $1 million + by retirement age. Or I could easily pay for my children to go to college.)
According to that last website, my wife and I are spending a little under $7,000/year for our car.
Let me go ahead and say $7,000 for the purpose of my following illustration.
Now, if we work 250 days (5 day workweek x 50 weeks) a year, that means we're paying $28/work day for owning a car (7000/250). That means, if you make $9/hour, you have to work 3 hours every day to pay for that car. if you make $14/hour, you're working 1 1/2 hours to pay for it.
I bring this up because I want to make the case for walking/biking/busing places instead of driving. Some people look at me and say, "You're spending 1 1/2 walking to work and back home! That's great if you can work it out, but how do you have the time to do so??!!"
The answer is, because I'm not working 1 1/2-2 hours to pay for a car. In fact, by the time you figure that if I drove, I'd be spending 1/2 hour to get to and from work, then I'm coming out with at least 1/2 hour MORE free time than the person in my situation who drives. More still, if that person also later drives to a gym (where they pay MORE money) to exercise.
Want a million dollars? Want to pay for your kids' college? Want to SAVE time?
Sell that car. Or, at least consider it. It's not the time saver you might think it is. And for folk working at minimum wage (where paying for a car might take closer to HALF your workday!!), give it a serious consideration.
[UPDATE: I found this interesting site where you can enter the details of your car to get a "True cost to own" estimate that seems pretty reasonable. So, for instance, if you were looking at a 2005 Toyota Matrix, it figures in financing costs, taxes, fuel, depreciation, etc and lets you know that it is estimated to cost about $5,000/year for the first five years you owned it (fluctuating up and down slightly each year), for a total cost of ~$25,000 for a five year period. Interesting resource.]
For our family, this has been a money saver, to be sure (the average two car family in the US spends something like $3,000-6,000/year for that extra car). It also has been a way to be a bit healthier (I lost at least twenty pounds that first year and, while I haven't lost any further, I haven't gained any back, either) and a great deal of fun.
I've started walking not because I had any problems with biking, but because - as much as I enjoy biking, I enjoy walking even more.
Today in Louisville it's our annual Bike to Work Day celebration and, in honor of that, I thought I'd re-post one of my favorite blog entries. As a matter of laziness, I've not included the links, but you can read the story WITH links here...
On the actual Cost of Cars...
Owning a car cost (on average) $7,823 per a year in 2007 according to AAA. That's figuring in gas, repairs, insurance, car costs, etc.
This is up from $6,890/year on average (according to this article back in 2004). Wow. Costs are rising quickly.
Here's a website that calculates your personal expenses - telling you how much you're paying a month for the privilege of owning a car and how much you'd be saving if you didn't have a car:
bikesatwork.com
(This site includes the little factoid that, if I did NOT own a car and invested that savings instead - beginning at the age of 25 - that I could have saved $1 million + by retirement age. Or I could easily pay for my children to go to college.)
According to that last website, my wife and I are spending a little under $7,000/year for our car.
Let me go ahead and say $7,000 for the purpose of my following illustration.
Now, if we work 250 days (5 day workweek x 50 weeks) a year, that means we're paying $28/work day for owning a car (7000/250). That means, if you make $9/hour, you have to work 3 hours every day to pay for that car. if you make $14/hour, you're working 1 1/2 hours to pay for it.
I bring this up because I want to make the case for walking/biking/busing places instead of driving. Some people look at me and say, "You're spending 1 1/2 walking to work and back home! That's great if you can work it out, but how do you have the time to do so??!!"
The answer is, because I'm not working 1 1/2-2 hours to pay for a car. In fact, by the time you figure that if I drove, I'd be spending 1/2 hour to get to and from work, then I'm coming out with at least 1/2 hour MORE free time than the person in my situation who drives. More still, if that person also later drives to a gym (where they pay MORE money) to exercise.
Want a million dollars? Want to pay for your kids' college? Want to SAVE time?
Sell that car. Or, at least consider it. It's not the time saver you might think it is. And for folk working at minimum wage (where paying for a car might take closer to HALF your workday!!), give it a serious consideration.
[UPDATE: I found this interesting site where you can enter the details of your car to get a "True cost to own" estimate that seems pretty reasonable. So, for instance, if you were looking at a 2005 Toyota Matrix, it figures in financing costs, taxes, fuel, depreciation, etc and lets you know that it is estimated to cost about $5,000/year for the first five years you owned it (fluctuating up and down slightly each year), for a total cost of ~$25,000 for a five year period. Interesting resource.]
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
East Coast Trabues
This photo was taken in 1996, the year that our Sarah was born and the year my grandmother Hazel passed away. Hazel was perhaps my favorite grandparent, although she was probably the most... difficult one to live with. I understand (now, as an adult) that she could be a little bit of a complainer and whiner, but mostly, to me as a child and a teenager, she was just the funny lady who made me brown sugar toasts and Pepsi floats, the one who did crossword puzzles with me.
Sarah never got to know her, of course, but Jordan spent some time with her and got to know his "Great Great" as he called his great grandmother. I think for him, as with me when I was younger, she was just that sweet older great grandparent who liked to see him smile.
Sarah never got to know her, of course, but Jordan spent some time with her and got to know his "Great Great" as he called his great grandmother. I think for him, as with me when I was younger, she was just that sweet older great grandparent who liked to see him smile.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Chasing a wild hair
Here's Sarah on our 2003 trip to the beach at South Carolina, I believe. We were on a pier in the evening, getting ready to eat at a beachfront restaurant and the wind was blowing like crazy.
When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom,
Climbed what I could climb upon
And I don't know how I survived,
I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew.
And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too.
I was a kid that you would like, just a small boy on her bike
Riding topless, yeah, I never cared who saw.
My neighbor come outside to say, "Get your shirt,"
I said "No way, it's the last time I'm not breaking any law."
And now I'm in this clothing store, and the signs say less is more
More that's tight means more to see, more for them, not more for me
That can't help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat...
But I am not forgetting...that I was a boy too
And like the woods where I would creep, it's a secret I can keep
Except when I'm tired, 'cept when I'm being caught off guard
And I've had a lonesome awful day, the conversation finds its way
To catching fire-flies out in the backyard.
And so I tell the man I'm with about the other life I lived
And I say, "Now you're top gun, I have lost and you have won"
And he says, "Oh no, no, can't you see
When I was a girl, my mom and I we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked.
And I could always cry, now even when I'm alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl, too.
And you were just like me, and I was just like you."
Excerpts from "When I Was a Boy," by Dar Williams
When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom,
Climbed what I could climb upon
And I don't know how I survived,
I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew.
And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too.
I was a kid that you would like, just a small boy on her bike
Riding topless, yeah, I never cared who saw.
My neighbor come outside to say, "Get your shirt,"
I said "No way, it's the last time I'm not breaking any law."
And now I'm in this clothing store, and the signs say less is more
More that's tight means more to see, more for them, not more for me
That can't help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat...
But I am not forgetting...that I was a boy too
And like the woods where I would creep, it's a secret I can keep
Except when I'm tired, 'cept when I'm being caught off guard
And I've had a lonesome awful day, the conversation finds its way
To catching fire-flies out in the backyard.
And so I tell the man I'm with about the other life I lived
And I say, "Now you're top gun, I have lost and you have won"
And he says, "Oh no, no, can't you see
When I was a girl, my mom and I we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked.
And I could always cry, now even when I'm alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl, too.
And you were just like me, and I was just like you."
Excerpts from "When I Was a Boy," by Dar Williams
Monday, May 17, 2010
Donna and Dan - 3
Another post in the countdown to Dan and Donna's 25th anniversary this coming June, which I began back in December. It is my plan to post a story, remembrance and/or poem once a week for 25 weeks leading to the big date, which will soon be here...
We had a baby shower for Sarah as one of our last acts of fellowship at Baptist Tabernacle. She was born in April of 1996 and we joined Jeff St that summer. It has always been her blessed community.
I was wrapping up school, then, finishing my degree in middle school special education (I graduated in December 2006 and began my brief teaching career soon thereafter). Thanks to working on the college newspaper the first couple of years in school and especially thanks to some of my teachers, I had begun writing a bit. Poetry and essays, mostly. I found out how much I enjoyed writing. Here are two of my early poems, written to our beloved Sarah Grace...
Sarah
there is music and poetry in her
laughter,
a grace, a gift
saying simply that "you're acting silly,
daddy,"
and her easy joy is given kindly
to me.
her fingers wrap't around mine
Her fingers wrap't around mine
for the first time tonight
impossibly small
improbably strong
and soon she's asleep
breathing softly on her mother.
Her fingers wrap't around mine
asking with her tired eyes
"Daddy please stay
just a short while"
and soon I'm asleep
breathing softly on her head.
Her fingers wrap't around mine
these fingers so smooth
touched by clouds
touch my soul
and soon I'm crying
breathing joy on her head.
Her fingers wrap't around mine
and for the first time she is
able to hold my whole hand
growing up
growing up
and I don't want to ever
let her go.
We had a baby shower for Sarah as one of our last acts of fellowship at Baptist Tabernacle. She was born in April of 1996 and we joined Jeff St that summer. It has always been her blessed community.
I was wrapping up school, then, finishing my degree in middle school special education (I graduated in December 2006 and began my brief teaching career soon thereafter). Thanks to working on the college newspaper the first couple of years in school and especially thanks to some of my teachers, I had begun writing a bit. Poetry and essays, mostly. I found out how much I enjoyed writing. Here are two of my early poems, written to our beloved Sarah Grace...
Sarah
there is music and poetry in her
laughter,
a grace, a gift
saying simply that "you're acting silly,
daddy,"
and her easy joy is given kindly
to me.
her fingers wrap't around mine
Her fingers wrap't around mine
for the first time tonight
impossibly small
improbably strong
and soon she's asleep
breathing softly on her mother.
Her fingers wrap't around mine
asking with her tired eyes
"Daddy please stay
just a short while"
and soon I'm asleep
breathing softly on her head.
Her fingers wrap't around mine
these fingers so smooth
touched by clouds
touch my soul
and soon I'm crying
breathing joy on her head.
Her fingers wrap't around mine
and for the first time she is
able to hold my whole hand
growing up
growing up
and I don't want to ever
let her go.
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